| Best Movies of 2008 |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|11:28 pm] |
SO 2008 was pretty much a terrible year all around. One crisis after another hit the world: food, economy, bombs, shootings, no war that was on in 2007 ended in 2008, floods, starvation; the list goes on and on. The only thing that could have made the year worse would've been a McCain/Palin victory. Thank god for small mercies. And of course, I don't believe in god. It was really that sucky a year.
IN any case, good movies continued to be made in 2008, and the 'small is beautiful' churning underway in certain sections of the Indian movie industry looks like its crystallized into a revived 'parallel cinema', but unlike the 1970s and early 80s, the class basis of this cinema is very different. These movies play in multiplexes and the audience dictates content: they reflect places and lives of the urban consumers, with a few provincial characters thrown in (see here Vinay Pathak's rise and rise, although he's not in any of the movies that make my list this year). Since I spent half of the year in Zambia, without broadband or a multiplex, I did not watch as many movies as I generally do, and so the following list of top 3 English and Hindi films is necessarily incomplete.
English
3. The Dark Knight
Maybe its because Heath Ledger killed himself, or because of its fast pace and well thought out action, but this is the first time that I've liked a Batman movie. Not a big fan in general of the comic-book genre. I vividly recall watching Dark Knight over the summer in Delhi a day or two after the Ahmedabad serial blasts, and having an eerie feeling whenever the Joker conducted his fireworks.
2. Milk
An important movie politically--given that the gay-marriage ban passed in November in California--Milk featured some excellent acting, inspiring photography, and intelligent humor.
Gave a glimpse of SF's incipient gay rights activism during the 70s, and contextualized the current state of that political movement.
1. Slumdog Millionaire
Though its second half was disappointing, the first hour or so of Slumdog was so exhilarating that not only did it do enough to propel the movie to the top of the list, but gave me goosebumps. The kid brothers, Jamal and Salim were thoroughly real and their experiences with the messed up world of grown-ups truly heroic. Once they grew up though, both these elements lost their raw force, and the movie ended up being another rags-to-riches story. Still, a treat.
Hindi
Now, in India, good movies are few and far between, so pretty much there was little good stuff beyond these four movies. But the top-2 were really good.
3. A Wednesday
A Wednesday is an off-beat thriller (?), taking up the issue of terrorism in the context of Mumbai, though of course, preceding the latest attack. In the movie a 'common man' played with an expert matter-of-factness by Naseeruddin Shah hatches and goes through with an intricate plan to assemble three (were they convicted?) jailed terrorists at a particular spot-- on the pretext of freeing them whie threatening to blow up the city--only to blow them up. The fast pace of the movie kept it going, but politically it was fundamentally problematic: such vigilantism is hardly the answer to terrorism. (in the US context, such a movie would be part of the reactionary dog-pile, but in India all of these categories have a very different meaning, for one thing, this vigilantism, though clearly mistaken, comes from a position of true frustration and a feeling of impotence, and not from arrogant racism as in say, the US).
2. Aamir; Rock On!
I should really make this a top-5, but anyway, here's another pair of very different movies. Like 'A Wednesday', Aamir too dealt with terrorism, but this time from the supposed 'other' sideāĨ¤ Here a London-returned young Muslim doctor, Aamir, is ordered to carry out another intricately hatched plan by a voice on the phone, who threatens to shoot Aamir's family in case he disobeys. The voice (who was also given a face later in the movie) guides the suit-clad protagonist through crowded Mumbai streets, dusty sidewalks, tenements that are visibly faling apart, stinky toilets in the said housing, and decrepit guest houses--in short, Aamir is forced to weave through the spaces of Muslim Mumbai. While he does so, Aamir enters into debates with the 'radical fundamentalist' voice re. muslims' place in India, and his 'clinching' argument is that his rise to a middle-class life was built on hard work, which is his prognosis for muslims in India. Interestingly, all that we see about the reality Aamir navigates actually belies his optimism.
In the end though Aamir does the right thing: instead of leaving the suitcase-bomb on a bus and walking away, as he is instructed, he walks away with it to death. Ending his life, ironically, as a suicide bomber, although he saved many lives.
Rock On! on the other hand is a simple story, predictable even, but well cast and acted, with an awesome soundtrack: the hindi/urdu rock provided great moments of energy to the film. Farhan Akhtar showed that not only can he direct, but act and sing. And this, and all the movies on the list actually are proof that as far as production values are concerned, Bollywood has truly arrived.
1. Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!
From the underbelly of Mumbai we move to Delhi's extroverted and unmistakably Punjabi belly. Oye Lucky is a lighthearted darkish comedy about a thief (in his stash finally recovered by the police, there are hundreds of TVs, few dozen stereos, furniture etc; certainly Lucky's not a high tech, high stakes crook a la Ocean's 11/12) from and based in Delhi who has a continuing tiff with fatherly authority, ongoing escapades with a special branch detective, and who is surrounded by self-serving friends and acquaintances--except the lady-love--but despite all this Lucky maintains his charm and swagger to get out of tricky situations.
I loved particularly the first 20 odd minutes of his teenage-life--the simplicity of his friendships and fledgling romance was endearing; makes me wonder if it might not be worth making, for once, a movie based around such characters: why do they always have to grow up? Like director Banerjee's 'Khosla ka Ghosla', the Punjabi-ness of Delhi is captured meticulously in all its colorful detail. And the background music, like Aamir, is fantastic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|12:32 pm] |
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SO this goes under the radar because it is very mainstream, but there is increadible racism against muslims and arabs brewing in the US. ANd it starts at the top--republicans AND democrats. Forget Bush etc, the war itself is built on racism; but even the anti-war folks, and the liberal darling Obama--'we will not babysit Iraqis forever'. Ok. SO you starve half a million people through sanctions, bomb sporadically whenever you feel like it, then invade under all kinds of bullshit pretexts and kill 650,000 Iraqis; and then have the audacity to say that they're like children who need disciplining. What a pile of racist shit--it's like the 'white man's burden' all over again. 'we're not gonna hold their fingers forever'. The US needs to get the shit out of there. period. Iraq for Iraqis. |
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| wow |
[Jan. 9th, 2007|11:04 am] |
Been a whiiile since I've been on LJ. Sorry folks. Been totally swarmed by a bunch of stuff. Work--grant proposals, proposal, generals coming up; not to mention classes i've been in and taught. And extra-curricular stuff--organizing anti-war movement here; its incredible, the war has gone on 4 years now, 600,000+ dead, and an indian guy has to be the coordinator for anti-war stuff at the largest university in the US (maybe, the whole damn world). Anyway, its been encouraging, we have a bus going to DC for JAN 27 protest and are trying to build for it.
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Am on the phone as i write, with E, who i've been dating for the last couple months. is going well.
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Movies: Khosla ka...was very good. tara sharma's voice though, didn't they have any auditions for that part?
The Prestige: fun, keeps you on your toes but too long.
Borat: I love watchin ALi G etc, and Borat is a funny mofo, but i thought it totally perpetuates stereotypes of muslims and central asia; i know it was a farce, but imagine the millions of americans watching that movie, and what they think about kazakhstan, and gun-waving kids, anti-semitic and misogynists in muslim kazakhstan.
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That's pretty much it. nothing else particularly exciting to report. except that whenever i get any free time, its spent watching 'curb your enthusiasm'. LD is great. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|12:52 pm] |
* Zambia was Awesome. Great country, and as I think i said previously, great people...no bad experiences at all--except when my pocket was picked in Lusaka. But even that guy returned my wallet--it had no money, and he had nothing to do with the Credit/Debit cards.
* visited the Victoria Falls on the last day of the trip. It's just something else--the scale is tremendous, even though the water levels at this time (the dry season) aren't close to what they are in Feb/March. That's apparently when the Falls are at their best.
* Back in Delhi for a couple more weeks. It's always a pleasure, even though the weather's terrible. Too damn humid for comfort. But I love the easy familiarity of the city--fit right in.
* A trip to Dharamshala in the Himalayas is on the cards next week--an escape from the heat here + that's one place in Himachal that I'm yet to visit.
* Hope to catch 'Omkara' soon. Seems like a good flick; and I'd rather do anything (insert something gross) than watch a Karan Johar movie. |
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| Lusaka |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|01:40 am] |
Whatup people??
I'm in sunny Lusaka(Zambia) as I've been for the last 8 days. It's a nice little city, the weather's beautiful--mid 20s and sunny, and the Zambians are extremely friendly and hospitable people; making it a very enjoyable visit so far. I've been taking the ubiquitous minibuses everywhere--taxis cost way too much--and really like talking to people on the buses. You know, stuff like where they're from, what they do in Lusaka, where they live etc. Have already made some good friends here. For people living in the US, or even India for that matter, the friendliness of the people here tends to freak you out at first..People will walk you all the way to inside your hotel room; or a minibus conductor will take you through back allyes to the right bus-stand. You're thinking, is he going to try to steal stuff, are there other goons around the corner waiting for their prey...but of course, the truth is that the people are just being helpful; and it reflects on our socialization in places like US or India that we expect something bad, although as a visitor its natural to be on the guard a little bit.
Even in places like the ministry of finance or planning or the city newspaper, people are very approachable--far cry from India.
Am travelling to the Copperbelt Province in the North in a couple of days; and then hope to visit the Victoria Falls before I head out of Zambia.
Photos, of course, will follow. |
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| Wtf is going on!! |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|11:58 am] |
First, the attacks on tourists in Srinagar; then the serial bomb blasts in Mumbai. And, perhaps, the most in-your-face of it all, Israels rain of bullshit--with explosives on the inside-- on Gaza and Lebanon. Whatever people said about the Cold War, there's a reason why its called so. In the 90s and since the turn of the century, there's been such an escalation of violence all over the world. Why??
Some will put the blame squarely on the shoulders of 'Islamic fundamentalism'. While it is to blame in part, will someone tell me why it wasn't such a potent reactionary force in the 1970s or even as late as 1980s? What's happened since then that Islamic fundamentalism has exploded? Clearly, while I disagree with them on tactics, I cannot think of a moral position from which to criticize even suicide bombings in Israel and in today's Iraq; these are situations of forcible occupation--over Palestine in the former, and by US in the latter. But by the same logic, what about bomb blasts in Mumbai?
How then do I make sense of Kashmir? For me as for millions of others, having grown up in an India sheltered from the repression--from all sides--that ordinary Kashmiris have to live with, it is very hard to escape nationalist imaginaries. Trying to do so, and evaluating things more objectively, there is a certain parallel between Palestine and today's Kashmir. People in both places live under the constant shadow of violence; first and foremost by the occupying armies--Israeli and Indian--and of armed rebellions--Hamas etc in Palestine and whoever in Kashmir. So to an extent one can sympathize with the form the opposition to state violence has taken. However, in both places the secular and progressive elements were the first to be targeted by the increasingly extremist resistance; especially in Kashmir where the Islamicization of the society has rapidly occured. Therefore, a defensible political stance can be one that opposes state oppression in both places, but which at the same time, strengthens the progressive elements rather than extremism, which has stepped in the bankruptcy of any other political resistance.
The biggest difference between these two places is that Palestine is much worse off--there is nothing resembling an economy; people there have to apply for, are mostly refused, and have to carry passes to cross into Israel to work; have almost no self governance; and the extent of internal fundamentalism--women are especially worse off--is much greater. In contrast, Kashmiris have their own land; some form of autonomy and control (there are, after all, elections to state legislature and for parliament); and freedom of movement.
What should be done? I for one, am in favor of treating J and K as three separate jurisdictional entities--Jammu, Kashmir and Laddakh; and Kashmir should be given a vote to decide what political entity they want to be part of--India, Pakistan or an independent state. Whatever the result, we accept it and move on.
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Finally, rains in Delhi..reminds me of this airline commercial in US--'you are now free to move about the city'
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Leave for Zambia next week. Really looking forward to it. Should be, if nothing better, an adventure.
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Movies seen: Phir Hera Pheri: Pathetic, left at interval; Krrish: ok, nothing worth writing about; Corporate: best of the lot--got too heavy and emotional towards the end, could've (should've) avoided that. |
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| summer |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|04:27 pm] |
Summer Plans are final now:
12th June-5th July: Delhi, Shimla and Kullu.
6h July-5th August: Zambia
6th August- 15th August: Jo'burg, Pretoria
16h August-13th Sept: Delhi, Kullu, (maybe) Bangalore
14th Sept.: Fly back to Columbus.
If anyone's going to be in these places on those dates, give a shout-out...especially if you're in SOuth Africa, 'cause I've never been there.
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Btw, anyone in Columbus with a TV--I'll be on. This morning we braved the rain and chased away a bunch of white supremacists off the State Capitol. Good stuff.
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Am really looking forward to the World Cup...my top three pics.
Priority, Brain: Brazil, Germany, Holland
Priority, Heart: Cote D'Ivoire, Angola, Mexico
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| 2006 |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|08:20 pm] |
Happy New Year everyone.
2005 sucked on many levels-- tsunami to start off; katrina; earthquake; blasts in Delhi; an old friend's death etc.
2006 would be better. Has to be.
For one, new year's eve was fun. None of the girls was in town, so Alistair, Seung-hyun and I were gonna go to Chicago on 31st, but the plan fell through on 30th night. Off the cuff, i decided to host a party at my place, and we immediately set out to invite everyone who still was in town. In the end, close to twenty people showed up, we played drinking games, got trashed and managed to usher in 2006 with some good old fashioned pot-smoking.
Needless to add, 1st January was hell. |
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| It' all about IT. |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|08:13 pm] |
Money.
If you have $5000 to spare, please consider helping a poor graduate student do fieldwork. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2005|06:05 pm] |
Even though i've hardly written here for a long long time, rest assured friends, i'm very much up-to-date on your lives. Part of why i haven't written is that a couple months back i read something about blogging in a newspaper that set me back a little. It said that ebloggers, i.e. us, are self-indulgent narcissists who can't get enough of themselves. And essentially, if you read yours, mine or anyone else's LJ, that's what our journals are.
Of course, that's not all they're about, lj is also about friends, real or virtual who you keep in touch, and share lives and ideas with. But that's one.
Another reason is the incredibly busy few months i've had since coming back from India. Fell ill for a week or so upon landing, was in two hard seminars this quarter, worked on a long paper for pub., taught a class on US and Canada, went organizing for the grad union once/twice a week, with a friend put together what is now our monthly newsletter, and if this wasn't enough, joined the ISO (www.internationalsocialist.org) and organized a drive against death penalty here at OSU. Now, the last one isn't as simple as it seems. People are extremely indifferent about politics in general here, and about left politics in particular. Its amazing to see the kind of divisions and fragmentation in the latter. Someone vehemently anti-racism can turn out to be the most homophobic guy around, or vice-versa. There's a group for protection of abortion rights on campus, but when we tried to get them to help out with the death penalty stuff, their president thought that 'people who commit horrible crimes must pay for them'. Any understanding of the inherent class-biased and racialized character of the criminal justice system is perhaps too much to expect from someone whose view of this is based on 'law and order' i guess. That's why i joined ISO, even though the $20 dues do hurt my poverty level paycheck significantly. Not to mention the sharp glances I draw from some people, being an 'outsider'. But then there are those who for that same reason, appreciate the work even more.
Next quarter promises to be more of the same. Since I've pretty much decided on researching this topic in Zambia, funding proposals have to be submitted @2 a month, and generals beckon at the end of May. Wish i could get 3000$, no strings attached, for fieldwork...That's why i always say-- there's a reason why dreams are dreams... |
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| 1st November |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|10:42 pm] |
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HAPPY DIWALI!!! everyone |
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| insanity and stupidity |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|11:24 pm] |
First of all, hope all the Delhiites in here are safe.
1. Blasts in Delhi
No such violent act is a shock in India, sure, but if it hits so close to home, it nonetheless is somewhat terrifying. SN market is where i've always done my shopping, and believe me that place is packed on the weekends. Not to mention the fact that Diwali's on tuesday and Id in a week, and i'm sure there was hardly standing room at SN when the bomb went off. The neck-bead (is that how they're called?) that i bought from a street vendor at the market couple of months back makes me wonder if she's alright.
___
2. Conservative Paranoia
No offence, Raja, but this report is the single-most stupid report I've ever seen in any news source of the slightest repute:
http://us.rediff.com/money/2005/oct/29guest1.htm?q=bp&file=.htm
The tautology here is that the system that you live in will influence your beliefs.
The problems are that, first, if the prevailing regime conditions one's political beliefs, then can't one use the logic to say that indeed capitalism is also a construct of capitalism.
Second, and this logic is just so damn inane-- in order to lessen poverty some sort of redistribution is needed. Therefore, in order for their redistributive policies to be supported, the Left wants to keep people poor. WHAT??? The author has totally fetishized 'redistribution' as something people want for its own sake. Mr.Raghavan, lessening poverty is the goal, and redistribution the means. Not the other way around.
Finally, the dichotomy this piece works on projects 'redistribution' against 'growth', as if 'growth' (this, btw, is such a trope in itself) is a necessary and essentially positive outcome of letting the rich get richer, while the gap widens.
What a stupid prick! |
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| geography, all around |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|11:26 am] |
The hurricane induced human tragedy that's ravaged New Orleans raises many questions-- ineptitude of the richest country in the world to prepare for such an event; law and order situation that's totally out of control; visible racism in state response to the floods etc. I know this is not a time to overanalyse the situation, but it does show how implicit some thoughts are in public imagination in the USA.
Fredzillalady has reference to a great report on the situation (http://www.livejournal.com/users/fredzillalady/132034.html?mode=reply).
Rapes and murders are rampant. Looting, however, is understandable, and i suspect if the US media gives unproportional coverage to looting, its pure and simple racism. The Indian Express yesterday carried a report where someone said that faced with the same scenario even 500 Nordic blondes would've resorted to looting. The breakdown cannot be seen through racialized lenses-- the culture of guns, terrible poverty and lack of any help from the state is a recipe for disaster. But see these statements:
"It's downtown Baghdad," said tourist Denise Bollinger, who snapped pictures of looting in the French Quarter. "It's insane."...
"It's like being in a Third World country," said Mitch Handrich, a registered nurse manager at Charity Hospital..."
(from AP)
Geographical knowledge of the 'Third World is x,y,z' (replace with chosen explitives) kind is implicit in people's imaginations in not only US, but i'd say Europe too-- all these 'bad things', they happen out there, not here.
I'm sorry Mr.Handrich, but third-world Mumbai, faced with similar (perhaps even greater) floods earlier this summer remained a sight of peaceful resolve, not mindless violence. |
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| travel light |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|11:12 pm] |
After Himachal and Pondicherry, an Amritsar trip is on the cards this weekend.
{thank god?} for sending clueless Mexican tourists to Delhi while i'm still topping the vellas of Delhi list.
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My love for Hyderabadi Biryani being widely known, an uncle who flew in from the city brought along two packs of the Nawab's favorite dish this evening. A taste of Jannat at dinner followed.
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It dawned on me this evening that there's merely two more weeks to go before I leave India. So after sulking for a few minutes, I decided to begin stocking up on kurtas and Ilaichi tea. |
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| 15 August |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|10:22 am] |
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It was Independence Day yesterday. If newspapers, and in particular, TOI is to be believed, then being patriotic is 'cool' among young people. Strangely, in the same day's paper, most people when asked didn't know who wrote our national anthem. It seems like patriotism being 'in', as worn by people literally on their sleeves, is inspired by our mistaken cultural image of places like US, where 4th July sees much fanfare. In India, the day has always been seen as one of calm introspection, for remembrance, more than celebration. I'm somewhat proud of what it means here in India, for it shows a maturity and historical understanding especially because of the tragic events that both preceded and accompanied the moment of independence. Anyway, thought i'll share my two cents. |
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| Highlights from Down South |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|11:05 am] |
Delhi--Hyderabad--Pondicherry--Mahabalipuram--Hyderabad--Delhi
1. Standing/sitting on the gate while your train goes at 100 km/hr is something one cannot experience in any developed country. Safety and security, madam...
2. Gazing at the landscapes out the windown on the above is great too..especially with a cup of tea in hand. Many places however, were flooded in Maharashtra..rivers were overflowing, houses submerged. Trains still wizzed past the destruction.
3. Hyderabadi Biryanis. Incredible. Ate at each of the three most renowned eateries in the city.
4. Hyderabadi weather. From the heat+humidity of delhi, cool winds and overcast skies were a welcome change.
5. Pondy beaches. Lovely beaches, minimal tourist invasion.
6. Pondy food. Chettinad chicken, and many kinds of fish/prawns make me want to settle for good down south.
7. Mahabalipuram temples. sitting amidst magnificent rock cut and monolithic temples makes for a totally surreal experience.
___
We lived on the beach at a nice resort in Pondy, ate like kings the whole while, travelled in autos throughout, and drank shitloads of beer. Yet, all i spent was about 120$.
Can't even get to the place for that in US. |
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| Back in town |
[Jul. 21st, 2005|11:57 pm] |
I'm really sleepy so this should be short.
After a sweltering week in delhi i rushed to the hills in June, and spent an eventful month. Punctuated by rain of the worst kind and ensuing floods, the stay was nonetheless, great. Met my relatives (ALL 100,000 of them), sat on my ass in my house in the village for almost three weeks doing nothing but reading and eating wonderful home-cooked food. An average day in the village is as follows:
8am, wake up
by 9am, finish breakfast
9-noon-- take my comfy chair outside (except when it rained) and read/listen to music
noon--2pm- help prepare food, eat lunch
2-5-- resume another session on the aforementioned chair
5-7-- take a walk in the forest/up to the road/to the village
7-9-- The whole dinner thing
10pm--off to sleep listening to music or the bbc world service
Armed with a digicam and the laptop, i went crazy with photography. Some of which is pretty good too. Will post pics once back on broadband.
Delhi's still quite hot. But not that bad. The asian film fest is on this week, and i went to a vietnamese movie this evening, which turned out to be fairly decent. Have already marked the schedule for the next 3 days. It does, however, take some effort to convince good old friends to come out to the fest. Today i talked one into accompanying me, and coaxed a promise out of her to do the same tomorrow. So far so good.
Always up for travelling, I'm leaving with some friends all the way down to Pondicherry next week.
By train, my favorite transport mode. The farther the better... |
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| Delhi |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|06:31 pm] |
It is HOT here.
I went out the house during the day today, and i bet we can roast a baingan for a mean bharta outside. Good thing i leave for shimla on tuesday.
But even so, it's been great meeting old friends and enjoying my mom's food.
Last night went for the good old night show of 'bunty and babli' at the pre-multiplex and non-dolby sapna theater. Quite an experience, even though the movie was crap. Couple of songs were fun though.
Btw, Hong Kong is fun place...only if you're there for no more than 3 days. there's nothing much apart from shops and more shops;of all kinds, from on the street to classy malls. For someone who had no intention or money to buy anything substantial, doesn't have much to offer. Except perhaps these-- GREAT chinese (and fusion)food and PRETTY, pretty girls:) |
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| very soon |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|11:47 pm] |
Only three days to go now...I step on a plane friday afternoon. Long, long journey it will be: Columbus--Cleveland--LA--Hong Kong, and eventually, India. The first leg, Columbus-HK, i calculated, will take more than 30 hours. I just can't look past those 30 hours right now, to the point that the rest of the summer seems distinctly distant.
Speaking of summer, it has been HOT in columbus the last 3-4 days. over 90 (33-35 celcius). It doesn't seem that bad, i know, especially when compared to the high 40s in north india; but when combined with the awful humidity and the fact that it was cold-ish a couple of weeks back, HELL. I'm frying in my second floor room right now, without a fan. Good acclimatization, if you wanna put a positive spin on it.
But this time i'm not so excited to be going home. First reason, obviously is D, but then she's flying (to her) home soon too (France, btw). Second, the heat in delhi is scaring me, even though i'll get to himachal pretty soon upon landing in india. Third, I must say I've really enjoyed living in this house with these people. Last year I couldn't get out of the house soon enough...my roommate drove me nuts. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2005|05:31 pm] |
I lost my home+office keys today.
It must be said that this was waiting to happen, and actually I'm a bit surprised that it took 9 months for me to lose the keys. So I retraced my steps once I found out that the keys weren't where they were supposed to be...didn't find 'em.
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There's a decent amount of credit that i've to pay back, and with the tax refund I intended to do exactly that.
Last night I bought an MP3 player.
Just got an email from the store saying they sent it by UPS.
Guilt pangs.
It's a Creative Zen, btw. |
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